If You Feel Guilty Resting, Read This ⬇️

How rest is an act of rebellion

I was taught that slowness / resting = guilt.

When I was younger, I would lose myself in books. I would immerse myself in fantasy lands filled with Unicorns that had a shadow / darkness to them, graduating to Harry Potter and Eragon, and continuing into worlds like Game of Thrones & Fourth Wing, etc. My mom would yell at me and tell me to put the books down - that I was being lazy when I was reading. I was a pretty active kid and I definitely did things around the house. It was really confusing to me when she did this because she would always push school on me… yet when I actually read, she was mad. It was as if I wasn’t allowed to slow down and take the time to just… be.

She would (and still does) shame my dad when he reads or rests. My nana does it as well. They are constantly moving, yet my mom’s body is fighting her. It is telling her to slow down, to stop. But she won’t. I know exactly what she needs to do; yet, she will not listen to me.

From therapy, I understand that this is from age-old programming - aka intergenerational trauma. These words, emotions, thoughts, patterns about laziness have been forming for years and years and have stuck within our family. I am a cycle breaker. I can speak the truth, but the only way that I can help them learn is by embodying it within myself.

I share this with all of you, because I am trying so hard to embody a high frequency. I want to live in alignment with my higher purpose to not only better myself, but to better the world. I want to get rid of this guilt / shame that is not mine. It has been hardwired into my body. My mind has always rejected it, my heart too. However, my body is so severely hurt. I have inflamed adrenal glands and am in a constant state of anxiety (I take meds) to calm myself down, yet my body doesn’t seem to know how to chill.

To me, alignment looks like peace. It is abundance in love, health, the home, fun, creativity, connection, and passion. Alignment looks like balance. We sometimes have hard days, we sometimes have great days, some days we are existing and are neutral - it is all about the balance of yin and yang - moderation. Alignment looks like learning. We never “stop” aligning, even in rest. Even in states of healing. In those slow states, we allow our bodies to catch up with our minds.

If you are a cycle breaker, it is ESSENTIAL for you to slow down. Pause. Breathe. Allow your body to rest, to flow, to relax. It is your birthright to do so. Our society, our families, our careers all push us to move and to constantly be “on.” The internet allows us to connect, but it doesn’t teach us to shut off. So many people who do digital detoxes discuss the benefits that occur after. It is proven that these applications are designed to keep us engaged, shackled to their appeal. Yet, our bodies are screaming at us to put it away, to slow down, to meditate, go for a walk, ground in nature, do something that allows you to just be YOU.

I am writing this to reach out to others who are like me. I struggle with this guilt associated with rest. My job, although a huge advocate for mental health, relies on burnout. It wouldn’t function without it. My family pushes this ideal towards us all - causing so much harm and stress. Society as a collective also perpetuates this idea. I am here to tell you all - that it is okay to rest. I make sure I carve out time to do so. Now, after reflecting, I am going to actively dismantle these thoughts and beliefs. I want to empower myself to develop a new relationship with rest.

I am learning that rest is not a luxury given to people who retire, or to people who are rich… It is rebellious and radical to practice self love. We all need it. Our bodies crave it. To anyone reading this, you are so worthy of self love, time to yourself, relaxation, peace, and balance. Healing is nonlinear. It is rest one day, movement the next. It is easy one day, and the next it feels so hard and frustrating. I invite you to honour your relationship to rest with curiosity and compassion. Our bodies hold an innate wisdom that we are all distracted from. We are so overloaded with constant information about everything, but what about listening to the information your body is giving you? Do you ignore it? Do you hear it? Do you allow yourself to listen?

By learning to listen with compassion, we can all nurture a beautiful space for ourselves. We can rewrite our own narratives surrounding rest - the one thing we all need more of. The one thing that seems to be so elusive. When we find peace for ourselves, it ripples beyond us. People notice it and feel it.

Affirmations:

• I am worthy of rest and relaxation

• I release the need to prove my worth through actions and constant stimulation

• I embrace my body’s inner wisdom

• I am open to learning what my body is trying to tell me, even when it is conflicting with societal expectations

What does alignment look like for you?