Observe, Extract, Integrate: Turning Fascination into Growth
How to study people, media, and situations without losing your energy ✨
Anyone else like binge-worthy shows like Love is Blind or Selling Sunset? Don’t worry, you can insert your own favourite show as you read along.
I personally watch the shows as a reflection of myself and society. I think everything that we see can mirror parts of ourselves back to us. I really enjoy Love is Blind for the genuine connections that form from the pods, but I also find it fucking fascinating when it blows up during the honey moon part and the real world - where old patterns and ways of being are integrated.
On Reddit, I decided to create a poll - why do you watch Love is Blind? and it was so fascinating how most people just watch for the drama. I personally cringe at the drama, call me a romantic, but I would love to see a show that actually helps people create loving connections. I’m constantly thinking of ways we could do this in society.
In the comment section of the thread, it was quite obvious that people are craving more heart / depth. They want shows that actually help people grow, connect, and heal. It made me realize how starved we are for sincerity in entertainment.
Which might be why Selling Sunset fascinates me just as much, but for the opposite reason. It’s the shadow side of that yearning: these wealthy, glossy people who seem to have everything, yet chaos trails them like perfume. Divorce, drama, fake friendships. It’s all there, loud and glittering.
Why am I sharing? - I realize that these shows can be DRAINING. But here is where you can turn the pull of fascination into a shadow practice: instead of comparing yourself or envying what you see, you can choose to practice curiosity. Shadow work here means observing the patterns, behaviors, and energy that draw you in or irritate you - and learning from them without losing your own energy.
If you are still here and are curious, I will provide some steps to help you all with doing some shadow work :)
Step One: Set your Intention
Decide on what you want to observe. For example: I want to be more confident in my self expression (I can be a shy girl). In Selling Sunset, I love how they express themselves through their expensive clothing. I think it is ridiculous that people spend that much on clothes, but I do think it is important that we should be able to express ourselves and be celebrated for our creativity like they are
Remind yourself that you are a student! You are NOT a participant of the drama. This is key. Hold detachment in order to learn :)
Step Two: Observe Mindfully
Watch or read with intention. Note what resonates with you, and what irritates the hell out of you.
For example: Chrishell can jet to Australia on a whim. She’s sensitive yet assertive, fiercely protecting her peace. Sometimes she’s petty… but that’s a strategy for guarding her energy. I discard the superficial drama and admire her boundary-setting and freedom.
Step Three: Extract Lessons
Reflect. What do I want to embody in my life?
Identify what I want to avoid
Instead of comparing and allowing envy to cloud my vision, turn it into fascination. Practice curiosity!
Example: I want to emulate Chrishell’s assertiveness and self-protection without taking on pettiness or drama. I admire her strategic approach to energy
Step Four: Integrate
Apply the lessons into your own life consciously
Example: Bri expresses her dislikes openly yet also shows care: through her child, her hobbies, and her interaction with animals. This shows authenticity has multiple angles.
Lesson: You can hold strong opinions, enforce boundaries, and still be compassionate and playful.
Action/Integration: Notice where you feel pressured to “choose” a single way to be (strong OR soft, serious OR kind). In a situation this week, try expressing both sides naturally, without self-censoring. Afterwards, reflect: how does holding these dualities feel?
Step Five: Now - Make it your own!
Choose any media you would like (Reddit post, Netflix show, celebrity, book, etc.). Anything that you feel drawn to
Then practice curiosity! Don’t judge yourself for liking a show or being drawn to something, try practicing curosity and seeing what comes up for you
Remember: curiosity is your superpower. Watch, observe, extract, integrate and let yourself be fascinated without losing your energy. This is how entertainment transforms into self-reflection and personal growth 🍄 ✨
If you need help with intention setting - here you go!
What quality did I admire that I secretly want to develop more of?
What reaction (envy, judgment, fascination) felt strongest, and what truth might it be pointing to?
How do I want to show up differently this week because of what I saw or felt?
Where can I replace comparison with creativity?
How can I express my authenticity, but with compassion?
This was a very insightful post. I tend to get intimidated when I read or watch shows, thinking that the creators of those shows are much smarter/creative/better than me. I've been trying to just be curious and admire them instead of tear myself down because of it. This was great advice!