Chapter 3 & 4: Disturbed Dreams & Broken Routines
Cirrus - A Quintessence Series
Here is the next chapter to my book. If you need reference - here are the links to my first two chapters. Tell me what you think so far in the comments below!
Chapter 3
Disturbed Dreams
I dreamt I was searching for something. I was in a cavern of some sort. Crawling, and crawling through darkness. My knees were torn up and bleeding, and I was in a hurry. Where was it? What was I even searching for again?
Something grabbed my foot.
I screamed.
I kicked at it. I shuffled forward with blind fear. Something was trying to get at me. There were two paths ahead of me, and I chose the one that looked the easiest to get away from this thing behind me. I turned my head back and saw figures moving. My body panicked.
I ran forward into the smooth tunnel. A light glimmered, as if beaconing me toward it.
I knew I would get there in time.
I just knew it.
I woke up, but instead of feeling the familiar pounding headache, I felt absolute clarity. The cabin around me was small, yet cozy. I spotted a fuzzy spider nest in the top right hand corner above my cot - a hanging hammock. The air adjusted the boat in a different type of rocking motion. It was smoother, much more flexible rather than rhythmic waves of the ocean.
I stretched my tanned, strong body. I could feel the muscles expand as I exhaled loudly. My chest felt lighter, my body felt rested. It was probably one of the best sleeps I’ve ever had.
An outfit was laid out on a small chest at the side of the room. I grabbed it and started throwing the clothes on. The clothes smelled faintly of soap with a hint of lemongrass as I pulled them on. I couldn’t recall the last time someone provided me with clean clothing.
The light brown pants were tight, but stretchy, which was very practical. The white tunic was light and a bit baggy. Perfect for movement. I noticed my holster was sitting by the chest. I checked to see if my knife and other belongings were still in it. They were. My gold from the previous nights winnings was hidden in my older clothing. I added my holster to my outfit. I wanted my knife to be close. My skin; however, was still slightly dirty. My hair was a tangled mess.
Stupid wind.
The ship jolted. I raised an eyebrow. Not the smoothest sailing.
No matter. I opened up the door from her small cabin and clambered up the deck. My ears popped as I reached the surface. I grabbed my nose and popped my ears back into place. This will definitely take some time getting used to.
The girl from the other night waved me over. I noticed her hair was strawberry blond, and not red.
“You found your clothing! We will be able to bathe at the next port…” Her nose scrunched up briefly after making the comment.
“What’s on the agenda today?” I asked, ignoring her face. I have worked with some people who acted as if they were ogres, and I knew my stench was not that bad; in comparison. I still tried to inconspicuously lift my right arm to smell my armpit… Okay, she had a point. I smelled.
“We are travelling to the port. It will take about one more day to reach,” the girl winced.
“I apologize if this sounds rude, but I never caught your name.” I put my hand behind the back of my head, and gave her a small look of shame.
“Oh. Yes. I told you it last night, but you were quite drunk. How silly of me to forget that.” Her voice was dripping with heavy sarcasm. “My name is Patricia. Not Patti. Pat-rish-ah.”
“Noted. Patti -
She crossed her arms.
– is a no go. Patricia it is.” I winked.
She smiled, nodded, and unfolded her arms.
“So what exactly are we getting from this place?” I asked.
“You’ll see.” She shoved a biscuit in my face, and I graciously took the offer and got off the topic.
Fascinating. These people were so curious. And frustratingly coy. I am definitely due for an adventure. I thought, calculating. The last adventure didn’t go quite as planned as I had hoped. There had been one nasty love triangle involved, and I was not in the mood for another one of those. Too emotionally draining. I wanted something to focus on that expanded my physical limits. Something to test my strength and boundaries. I was tired of staying too long in one place and giving my time and energy to people that didn’t deserve it.
The biscuit was a bit dry, so I searched for some tea to amend the issue. As I walked around the room where the biscuits were, more women took some food and left immediately.
No luck finding a good cup of tea or coffee.
This was going to be a long day.
Chapter 4
Broken Routines
I couldn’t find any coffee or tea. It was a rough morning. I was used to a particular routine, but I could function without it. What can I say? I have my preferences. As I worked around the ship’s deck, I noticed how cohesive the crew was. I could also tell that everyone on this crew had a story. Being on a ship full of women felt safe. I didn’t feel like I had to put on a gruff demeanour. I felt accepted for who I was.
I found myself observing and getting lost in my thoughts as I was working. I was looking for an adventure, but I was mostly looking to continue my voyages on the sea. This whole job felt surreal and odd. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted this type of adventure.
A black dart disrupted my daydreams. I followed the movement, and noticed a black cat sitting by the captain’s door at the stern of the ship. It pawed at it, scratched a particular spot, and the door opened. It glanced towards me, and walked inside.
Naturally, I followed it. I had just reached the door when I heard steps from right behind me.
I turned to see Madame Caeli coming towards me at a brisk pace. “You can follow me. I have some details I need to cover with you before we continue on this journey.”
Madame Caeli’s cabin was… eccentric. Especially in comparison to Jon’s. His was filled with barrels of booze. He had many different types ranging from whiskey, stout, red wine, rice wine, to lots of rum. His travels always were reflected in the variety of alcohol he collected.
She opened the door, and the entire room lit up as Madame Caeli strode in. The light felt alive. The source was coming from jars that were suspended mid air, floating in time and space. This room felt magical.
I could sense a tangible power within the room; the exact same that Madame Caeli emulated within her aura.
A statue of a woman, both uniquely beautiful yet fierce, stood in the centre of the room. A mixture of carved mythical creatures arose from the ground to her shoulders: a couple of merfolk were jumping out from water at the base, griffins flew above them, a dragon wrapped around her shoulders, and a Phoenix with it’s fiery wings were stretched out from behind her. It made it seem as if the figure could fly. The same, powerful feeling that pulsed from Madame Caeli radiated from the statue. The feeling grew stronger the closer I approached it.
My body felt drawn to the statue as if a magnetic force was pulling me forward.
Madame Caeli coughed, and my attention was immediately diverted. The pull towards the statue was momentarily broken, but that’s all it took to break the trance I was in. What was that? I shook my head to right myself. I directed my attention to Caeli, who had a seat upon a pillow on a beautiful rug that was just past the statue.
“Have a seat.” She directed.
I nodded and sat cross-legged on the richly embroidered gold and blue pillow adjacent to hers.
“I have so many questions,” I started, hesitating. “What types of materials do you collect? I’m normally good above deck, but am versatile.” I thought it would be a good idea to discuss my strengths. I always found honesty helped me get the jobs I wanted.
Madame Caeli smiled and shuffled some papers on her desk. Her tanned skin glowed in the light from all of the floating jars. Her wild, voluminous hair did not match this particular setting. It wasn’t made to be confined in a small room.
“Listen, Julienne.
“Jules.” I corrected.
“Right, Jules.” She said slowly. “As I was saying, there are some things I need to discuss with you first before we talk about specific jobs. We will be going to a special port tomorrow. You will be seeing many different things and people that will be new to you. As you can already tell,” she paused for dramatic effect, and the cat jumped into her lap. “Magic comes in all shapes and forms.”
The cat started to purr as she stroked it’s fur. As the cat purred, the lights started vibrating and pulsing with the cats breath. It was as if the room was radiating the cat’s pleasure.
“Magic is what energizes and ignites us. It can be a living, breathing entity without a shell. It is free. It can be chaotic, and it can be harnessed. It can be predictable, and it can be passive. But it can also be alive, all-knowing, and some forms contain hidden agendas.”
She paused to feed the cat a small morsel from her pocket.
“There are people who can wield magic. The people who can have harnessed some of it. This is how we can sail and guide the ship in the air. This is also the reason why magic wielders remain secret, and the reason you are here.”
My eyebrows raised significantly in a perplexed manner. I didn’t realize this was going to be this type of meeting.
“Magic wielders? That’s the first time I’ve ever heard that term. I would have thought the more appropriate term is wizard.” I joked.
“Magic wielders have been known as many different names. We have been called fey, fairies, wizards, witches, sprites, aliens, monsters, and the list goes on and gets oddly specific,” she sighed.
Oh. She was being completely serious. She had asked me about magic the other night, but I thought she was going to provide me with a logical explanation when we had this talk. I didn’t realize how committed she was to this. There were banned and illegal substances that could make flight possible in this world. I knew that some people still used these substances in desperate times or for illegal usage, so I just assumed this was a stolen vessel. I had been around this type of crime my whole life and I had seen how pirating illegal material worked out. It was what killed Jon. He got wrapped up into business that he shouldn’t have, but the money was hard to turn down; even I had to admit that.
The noose around his neck was the price he had to pay for being a smuggler. He was a face to the crimes that many underground elite figures used to escape blame. The elite shouldn’t exist as they were supposedly wiped out after the Tech wars to heal the planet. However, destroying privilege built over so many generations was somewhat impossible to squash. They used Jon to get what they wanted, but also used him to get the United Forces off of their scent. Those damn, elite bastards had found some other pirate to do their dirty work for them, and stabbed Jon in the back. They rewarded his services with death, so that they could distract people from looking into their shady business.
Madame Caeli continued, “Humans have endured centuries with many phases and eras. Yet, magic wielders have lived longer. We have been here since the beginning. We live amongst the people through all different types of warfare. We are still alive in their stories today. Even when they change and adapt, our essence still exists.”
We… why did she say we as if she was one of these things or a part of it?
“This crew is going to be picking up a shipment of contained magic. This type of magic is not easy to obtain, and it is difficult to harness. It is a magic that has been used to start wars, to cause genocides, and to cause greed at catastrophic levels. This particular shipment is sealed to contain… ideas. Not the ones that you can formulate within books or other forms of medias, but the raw forms of ideas. The elements that create them. Have you ever felt snippets of curiosity? The wonder of seeing something awesome or inspiring? The power of an idea that can change the world? Or maybe you have heard of Pandora’s box: the story where evil was spread into the world after a woman exercised curiosity. There are always some truths to some stories. How do you think that evil came to Earth? It existed from somewhere within this Universe, and was unleashed on human-kind.”
The cats purrs were loud and mesmerizing. It turned it’s head towards me and blinked, slowly. I thought Madame Caeli’s rant was becoming a bit off-putting. If… and I’m being generous with this if, there were ideas or these elements of power, it would explain a lot of evil within the world. It reminded me of different older religions that were now stories. New religions had formed after the Tech wars that were nature-based in ideology.
She continued, “There are ways of extracting these raw forms of ideas from sentient beings that are ethical, but there are also non-ethical ways of extracting and… gathering these ideas.”
“Sentient beings? What do you mean by that?” I asked with skepticism. What could she possibly mean? Was she implying that there were other types of life?
“I’m saying, and I know this may seem like a large concept to grasp, that there are many different forms of sentient beings within our Universe.”
A knock at the door surprised me. Patricia walked in with a tray of cups, steaming with hot liquid. She started blushing at the look of my incredulous face.
“I brought some tea and coffee, at your request.” Patricia handed Madame Caeli a steaming mug. I chose the coffee. I drank the liquid with a frown painted on my face. I wasn’t upset with the coffee. Quite the opposite in fact; I was delighted. It tasted of caffeine with a hint of chai and vanilla. I finally got my damn drink to fulfill my routine. My issue was the information I was digesting.
I looked around again. I saw the jars, but I looked more closely. Each jar had a ghostly light within it that was swirling in many different ways. If (I want to emphasize if) what she was saying was true, then every single one of these jars contained some sort of harnessed magic. What other types of magic were there? Evil sprites and love potions? As if.
“So… let’s say that all of this is real. Are you then implying that ideas are a commodity if they need to be extracted?” I sipped the beverage gingerly; I was trying very hard to take this conversation seriously.
Her cat stopped purring, and Madame Caeli’s eyes became more focused and her voiced was clipped, “Julienne. You still don’t believe that this is real after being so close to the sky? What other ships have you been on that can fly? You have to open your mind a bit more and see what is truly right in front of you.
“What isn’t a commodity to humans?” She laughed sarcastically as she continued, “People have taken elements, materials, and resources and did not honour the natural balance of the Earth. Balance is key and historically, humans have lost their sense of what it means to be balanced. Look at all of the wars and how humans have had to rebuild after every single one of them. Humans… tend to step beyond limits and create their own social constructions for personal gain. Now, they are just starting to remember how important nature is to their existence and how community building is integral to evolution. Humans have learned to coexist more peacefully after the Tech wars and this has captured the magic wielders attention.” Her face was shadowed as the lights around us became darker; more serious. “Magic wielders have intervened from time to time. We genuinely don’t want humans to die, but we also have wanted them to make better choices for this planet, and now they finally are. They are seeing the truth.”
The names she called magic wielders before: fey, fairies, aliens, and monsters started to pop up in my brain. Stories of inhuman creatures taking humans away, teaching us morals, meddling in our affairs. Humans always had a fascination with these creatures by making intricate stories about them. We had written genres dedicated to these other worldly creatures. I thought of the scientists who focused on alien life during the Tech Era. Space ventures had been shut down completely with the fall of the elites. We needed to heal our planet first before we could think about exploring beyond our own boundaries. My face screwed up in concentration.
“So if these ideas are so important, are you trying to stop the spread of these ideas, or are you trying to use these ideas to spread the magic wielders version of ‘the truth’?” I inquired. “What even is the truth?”
“That is a big question. It takes time to fully understand it,” she smiled.
“I’ll try my best to help you understand… Spreading the truth is important and I am not alone in thinking that it needs to be widely dispersed to the human population. Magic wielders have observed humans for millions of years. Sentience and consciousness are complex through evolution.”
Oh, we were getting deep. My eyes furrowed in concentration.
She must have noticed my intensity, “Think of magic wielders as gardeners and humans as seeds. Humans are now at a space where they are flowering and bearing fruits. They are showing us, or the Universe, that they can handle concepts that are larger than what they previously have known. This is where you have to change your understanding and your questions. Magic wielders who feel the same as me are not looking to merely gather ideas like humans do with treasure. We don’t horde and guard them. We want to actively wield these ideas, and the power behind them, with respect to what it is. I refuse to let them sit as a passive commodity for anyone to find and hide. This type of magic should not be hidden or imprisoned. It should be free and not harnessed behind political limitations and exploitation.”
She continued, “Magic is simple. It has many different forms, but the reason why I am telling you this is because you specifically have a role on this ship that is essential to the Cirrus’ cause. Our mission is to break boundaries and reconstruct a world that allows magic and humanity to exist cohesively. We want to make a more sustainable future and we are working on collaborating with humans to achieve this cause. If we have learned anything from the past, we should understand that living in a balanced fashion is essential for harmonious and elevated consciousness. We want to create a world that values everyone; not just the people or beings with the most power. We want to extend magic to everyone. We are rebels and pirates, in a sense, but with a holistic cause in mind.”
Pirates? This looked like a fleet of bourgeois women. I snorted. Pirates this clean and refined? What nonsense. This was the most nonsensical thing I thought of since coming on the ship, and this woman was ranting about magic.
"I want you to become a part of our crew.” She paused and looked anxious, “I will not lie to you Julianne. I did not find you on a whim. I have been searching for you ever since you were young.”
The weight of her words pitted her stomach.
“You… someone knew of me?” I managed to whisper.
My body was now reeling. The cup in my hands seemed too hot. My muscles were getting more tense by the second, as if preparing for flight. My chest started to restrict, my jaw became tense.
Madame Caeli got up from her pillow and walked towards the wall. Some jars of light followed her, emitting a bluish hint. The room’s entire vibrance shifted to a cooler and melancholy hue. Her back was turned to me and her voice was just above a whisper, “Your mother was a dear friend of mine. We were like sisters.”
She turned her body towards me and I noticed her eyes were far away. “We were sisters, in a sense. I am not human, but your mother was. I grew fond of her and visited her often. She was never scared of what I was, and understood what we needed to do to make the world a better place.
“I finally have found you after so many years of searching, of recruiting, and building a quiet resistance bigger than your mother and I had ever dreamed of. It’s important for you to understand that this is bigger than you. I hope you can find it within you to forgive her - for losing you. For making decisions that involved sacrifices that we couldn’t understand at the -
“Are you saying,” I interjected, “that my mother sacrificed herself? She gave up being a mother for… whatever this is?” I got up quickly, spilling my hot, precious beverage during the process.
I stalked around the room. I had just been told that I had a mother. I had family. Images of my lonely childhood popped into my brain. I tried so hard to find a family. I eventually found Jon, the now-dead Captain from my earliest crew had saved me from starvation, and he had given me purpose. He always provided me with his life philosophies and random riddles. He had cared about a small, young girl who had nothing. He was a person who had seen me and had taken me in. He wasn’t the most reliable person, but he gave me something.
I always wondered about my mother and my family. I was scared and mad for many years wondering why they had abandoned me. I didn’t get to think about it too often as a child and on Jon’s ship. I was often too tired to think about anything other than food or money. These things drove me and I pushed thoughts or hopes of family in dark places within my consciousness. But now… Madame Caeli had provided me with information I had not thought about in years. My once limited reality was crumbling to reveal ruins of something bigger. Who am I?
“Do you know how much I wanted… no - needed a mother? Needed a family? Do you know how much I have suffered?” My breath was coming in short, panicked gasps. I did not want to cry. I hadn’t allowed myself to cry or feel emotions in a long time. It made me feel weak, and I wanted to be a strong woman. I wanted people to respect me. If my new Captain, albeit a fairy, alien or monster, knew I cried or had these weaknesses… I wouldn’t allow myself to be vulnerable. I needed to calm down, but my fingertips were tingling with shock - they felt as if they were becoming numb. I wanted to keep these floodgates locked tightly, like the demons down in hell. I couldn’t admit my abandonment issues, because that would mean I would have to accept that my mother was dead and I would never get to meet her. My heart started to shatter, but I held in my tears. I desperately was trying to tuck all of the overwhelming emotions away.
I looked up to see Madame Caeli’s face. What I saw on it angered me to my core, because she had the nerve - the gall - to be sympathetic. It had the classic look of someone who pitied me. This so-called powerful, magical being was unable to find me for decades. My stomach contorted. It twisted and turned. I could have had a family. Twist. My gut wrenched. I could have had shelter. I could have been safe. Turn. My hand went to my stomach as if I was going to be sick. My nausea was making it hard to breathe.
The damn cat started to purr again, and her hands came up to my shoulder. I felt my body instantly relax against my will. Against my mind fighting to be mad at such an enormous shock. Her hand trailed down to my hand and placed my hand against the statue.
Everything stopped.
If you’ve been enjoying my writing, reflections, or podcast episodes, and you’d like to support me as I keep creating, you can buy me a coffee to help fuel these offerings.
Your support helps me keep sharing honest stories, deep creative work, and intuitive guidance with you. Every contribution means so much, and it helps me stay focused on bringing this work into the world. ✨ Light workers, unite!
Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for believing in this work. <3